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| Hello all once again. Once again, I am here. Im sitting in my nice comfy chair, writting to you all. not sure of what to say. I guess I could share some of my poems...but Im not 100% sure.... Im not sure of alot of things. Im back at EIU, I dont remember how much longer, but I do have a bit to go. Im kinda lonely up here at EIU...there are not alot of people that i once knew left. and I knew that when I was coming back...I am the oldest of all the people I know up here at EIU. (except for the ministers). but its all ok...I wont have much of a life...excepts dates wth my computer and books for class. ok blessings to all who read, I've had enough of a break...back to hitting the books Signing off
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| Hello all who come to read...
I dont know what to say most of the time anymore....
part of me wants to keep this blog up...Just in case...(some will understand this)
But there is a part of me, that just has a feeling that I will be okay. I have felt better for the most part. Considering all that I went through last spring. its been an interesting ride. Another roller coaster if you will. lots of ups and defently downs. even a few curly Qs'. And I HATE roller coasters. (I blame it on the tumor pressing on my cerebellum for 13 yrs). I am sad to say I had a fall back into old times for a little bit, but Im OK now. God is good, and has never left my side, even when I felt He was far away, it was I who was the far away one. I was the one who tried to do things on my own again... It was I who lost hope in the only thing that sustains me. But I realized what I was doing, was not working, (yet again). and I came running back into Gods arms. He opened them wide and embraced me. I love it how, no matter how stupid I get, and forget to trust God, He is always there to forgive me, and welcome me back home. Not that I just go and be stupid, and not trust Him. It just happens at times...why, because I am human... Sometimes I wish I had words to say here... I wish I was smart, and I had the ability to write. I wish I had the ability to touch lives, I dont feel like anyone would notice, if I were gone. some would say they would miss me, but at the same time, the dont reach out at all. I dont know....*ahhhhhhhhh*/*whimper* I just dont know anymore...
Signing off
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| OK its that time again...
that point where I share songs that are speaking/touching my heart right now.
I hope you like them, and maybe they will speak to you too..
TAKE ME OUT~ Everyday Sunday
I know I dont feel like talking right now.
But I know that You still feel the same
So what do we do when this feeling is gone
What will we do when I realize I am wrong (can you hear me now?
***Chorus****
Take me out of this place
Make me a raging fire
Make me what You want to
Cause I dont want to go down tonight
I dont want to go without a fight
I dont wanna leave without Your scar
So when YOu find me in the parking lot
And I say that I've given it all I got
Will You take me, and make me something new
Because all I wanted to give You
I have take away
So I beg, You promised, I beg for You to take me
and just forget today (can you hear me now?)
****** *******
I'm after Your own heart
I Know we've wrestled around
You've left me with this mark
Can You hear me now.
FIND ME TONIGHT~ Everyday Sunday
Yesterday, I could not feel this.
Today I'm sick of trying
to live like I can live on my own.
This world around me is suffocating.
I keep forgetting to turn and run to you
****Chorus*****
So find me wherever I am.
Won't you find me?
I've got myself lost,
and I don't think I want to
be roaming in heartache.
Please find me tonight.
I make it hard,
and I cant stand it,
can't drag my head around it.
[ Everyday Sunday Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
I wrestle with you more than I should.
I've made a mess of everything,
but you see the best in me.
I'll never be too far gone.
********
You speak without sound.
Your love is so loud.
You always save me.
So find me,
I don't want to be roaming.
love this song, right now...there are so many times when I forget to RUN to God.
and all I can to say is...God Im sorry, Come FIND ME!
TELL ME YOU"LL BE THERE ~ Everyday Sunday
Here we go, on this road
And we're not looking back, just looking ahead.
I could see why, You'd think
I'd want to be like You
And You know that it's hard
But I've never fallen too far
To escape to a place from Your love.
****Chorus*****
So tell me You'll be there
Tell me You're the cure
And tell me You'll be waiting
When my face is in the mud
So when it rains
When it floods
When my face is in the mud
Will You be there
Tell me You'll be there
Now its dark, but the sky
Has never seemed so bright
Come and save me from this field
Of Uncertainty
*********
Wont You tell me now
Wont You tell me now
*********
I think theses songs are self explanatory..
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| hey look at this...its another blog from me, and you didnt have to wait so long.
I have been working at wal-mart for just over a year now. 6 months of it I have been up at 4am, and I have noticed that the world is still dead at this time. (well that is central time in my area).
then there are some days where I am up at 5am, and the world seems to of come alive. the birds start to sing, and people start to move more. what a difference an hour or so can make.
I dont know what the point of this blog is...I guess I feel like I should come back to this, and if I do, maybe things wont get back to where they once were...(sadly I let them at one point).
blessings to you all...
Signing off
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| I was thinking I havent updated, my Xanga in a while...
but than again, who really comes and reads my thoughts.
Nothing has really happened to me...I am still working at Wal-Mart. (Yay!)
but will be going back to EIU in the fall. Im going to finish out my degree in FCS.
My last day at Wal-Mart will be June 30th, then in the 2nd week of July, I will be going to Orange County, CA. I have family out there, and I just found out, that my friend Sarah, will still be in the area, so I can see her as well!!! it has been just over a year since I have seen her.
but back to other things...
Like I said, I will be going back to EIU, in the fall. I just turned in all my FASFA stuff, so Im hoping to get some fincial aid, this fall. also I am hoping that I can get into these aprts. on campus. everything is paid for in tuition, so that would be great if I can get into them. I really dont want to have an hour comute.
I dont have anything more really to say...
only that it was wrough for a while...but Im doing better...
God is good, and faithful
Signing off
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